I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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