i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
