Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
