Is it because I queefed?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
