I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
