I think I am morally bankrupt
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
