I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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