Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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