i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
