just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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