Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
