blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
