...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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