i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I could make wine with my vomit
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
