He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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