My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
