Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
