She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you win again, gameday.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
