I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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