I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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