my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
