She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
