im drinking this country out of the recession.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
