Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
