time to smoke my breakfast
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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