oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
