She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
