Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
