Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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