When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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