and you said cock pushups were impossible
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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