Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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