i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
