i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
