party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
