I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
