my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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