Midget sex pt 2 tonight
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
