i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
