areolas are like halos for boobs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he had hair everywhere except his balls
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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