they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
