im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
