ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
