I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
