piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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