I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
