Porn is love you can see.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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