i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
