theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
