talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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