so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
