That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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